TRANS USES AGE OLD HOMOPHOBIC ARGUMENT, “HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU WON’T LIKE IT UNLESS YOU TRY IT?”
Ramses Oliva delusional Medium essay reviewed and refuted.
On Mashable Ramses Oliva has an article, “Is not wanting to have sex with trans people transphobic? I’m trans, here’s what I think.” What Oliva thinks is that if you don’t want to have sex with trans you are a bad person. This is the link to the article.
https://mashable.com/article/no-trans-people-preference-transphobic
Oliva essay basically argues what other homophobes often tell Lesbians and Gays about having heterosexual sex, “How do you know you won’t like it if you haven’t tried it?”
If Ramses Oliva was a fringe person writing on Medium this would be of little concern. However, a quick search on the Internet finds that he is not.
This is a link to an article by Oliva in Pink News, the leading LGBTQXYZ publication in Britain.
https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2021/10/11/coming-out-trans-ramses-oliva-just-like-us/
From this article we learn that he is a gay transman.
Oliva is the author of this article in Gay Times where we learn he is a transman also.
https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/life/the-invisible-have-voices-too-listen-to-trans-youth/
The Gay Times is another major LGBTQXYZ publication in Britain.
Oliva is the author of this article in Metro, an online media provider serving British urbanites.
In this article we learn that Oliva is asexual, more specifically demisexual which Oliva states, “which means I only experience sexual attraction after developing a strong emotional bond with someone.”
So, Ramses Oliva has influence in the LGBTQXYZ media and other media, so if he is writing a trans attack on Gays it is important.
So back to the article. Oliva discusses how people feel it isn’t transphobic to not want to have sex with trans. Oliva then states:
So, how did we get here? How did not wanting to have sex with human beings from one community in particular become a legitimate preference? The othering of transgender people in sexual contexts is not only in the context of dating or intimacy. It’s systemic and as such it bleeds into most interactions and environments — dating and sex is no exception.
This statement makes multiple assertions by implication. When Oliva states, “So, how did we get here?” it implies that this is a new thing. So does “How did not wanting to have sex with human beings from one community in particular become legitimate preference?” This implies that this is new and that in the past it was not seen as legitimate. The use of “human beings” is to imply that those not wanting to have sex with trans is dehumanizing them.
The fact is that people have had desires for some human beings and not others for a long time. There have been heterosexuals of which men have been attracted to women and not men, and of which women have been attracted to men and not women. Lesbians have been attracted to women and not men and Gay men have been attracted to men and not women. This is nothing new. Not wanting to have sex with a specific group hasn’t been held to be illegitimate in the past. Generally, not wanting to have sex in general has often been held up as a virtue. Oliva’s implied historical pasts are fictions.
Also, when did people that you personally didn’t find sexually desirable constitute a class, and an oppressed one at that? Notice the use of the word “othering,” which has a use in discourse of meaning that you have thrown them out of the circle of your society and devalued them and made them alien. So, Oliva is asserting that if you don’t want to have sex with a particular type of human being, you are making them intrinsically less than yourself and throwing them out of society. The fact is that you have people you value and respect all the time but you aren’t interested in having sex with them. What is the logic behind the idea that whether you would be willing to have sex with someone be the beginning and end of you valuing them, or the leading attribute to valuing them, as opposed to attributes of kindness, intelligence, generosity, loyalty, kindness, understanding, helpfulness and other attributes?
Also, there are classes of people that you don’t have sex with, like employees.
In fact, when you value an individual for their sexual desirability to the disregard of other aspects of a person, such kindness, and other personal virtues it is considered shallow and foolish. Oliva on the other hand puts willing to have sex with someone as the lead indicator of how you value an individual.
A person generally doesn’t want to have sex with their parents or siblings and that isn’t othering them. People have friend they wouldn’t have sex with, but that isn’t othering them.
Then there is the assertion that not refusing to have sex with someone is, “systemic and as such it bleeds into most interactions and environments – dating and sex are no exception.” This is just asserted and no evidence is given to support this assertion and what exactly is this “bleeding” is, that is, what is actually impacted, isn’t stated. If I don’t want to have sex with someone does that mean I wouldn’t rent to them, work with them on a project, promote them, socialize with them, or serve them in public accommodation? In fact, the possibility that I might be nagged or pestered for unwanted sex is a good reason I would avoid someone. Being pestered for sex in the work place or in other places is actually called sexual harassment. Not wanting to have sex with managers is not “othering” your manager, it is the expectation of a work place without sexual harassment.
Oliva claims that people don’t want to have sex with a transgender person because, “that they don’t know what that sex would look like. Sometimes they’re not even sure what trans bodies look like without their clothes.” This is just an assertion given by Oliva without any evidence.
As stated before, it is a trans recycling of the old homophobic argument, “How do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it?”
Likely regardless of what genitalia a transwoman might have, a Lesbian likely wants a biological woman, and a Gay man wants a biological man. Whatever a transwoman might have in terms of surgical reconstruction they aren’t a biological woman and will not have biological female sex organs. (I guess I have to use biological here, some transwomen will argue that their penis is a female sex organ, I am not making this up. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-57853385). Similarly for a Gay man, they know that whatever reconstructions or apparatuses a transman might have, it isn’t a functioning, ejaculating penis, with real semen. Lesbians and Gays are homosexuals and sex is something that nearly always involves sex organs.
Again, we don’t have to try it to know it isn’t what we desire. We have already had to put up with straight people pushing this question on us.
Oliva then goes into a discussion that heterosexual men aren’t interested in having sex with transwomen since they are misled and offput by transgender porn. I don’t watch it and I am not a heterosexual man, but I rather doubt that such porn would be watched by any other than men would are into transgender women and probably only by accident has it been watched by heterosexual men who aren’t into transgender. That this type of trans porn is why most heterosexual men aren’t interested is just a speculation.
Oliva then describes a lot of the sexual problems transmen and transwoman have with sex and sexual performance. Somehow it leads to this statement:
For example, some transmasculine people have never had penis in vagina sex. Having sex with me is not largely different from having sex with any other gay man. This means that when people say they would never have sex with a trans person, they’re making assumptions about what that sex would look like, such as thinking it would involve penetration or fellatio.
Her Oliva is using the old homophobic argument that how do you know if you haven’t tried it argument refashioned for trans demands to appropriate our bodies.
Oliva fails to understand is that it isn’t a matter of Gays knowing what sex with Ramses Oliva might be like, it is about what a Gay man’s sexual desires are. Usually, gay men desire “penetration or fellatio,” even fellatio and penetration, that is butt fucking and cock sucking. Also, most Gay men will assume that sex with Oliva probably does not involve penetration or fellatio with a naturally occurring penis. (I have to word it that way, since saying real penis means I am transphobic, and not recognizing that a dildo or some phalloplasty construction isn’t a real penis.) Since, Olivia doesn’t have a biological penis, sex with Oliva would be very largely different than that involving a Gay man. I think that a Gay man can reasonably make the assumption that Oliva won’t be part of a bukkake session. Also, bodies are eroticized with fantasy, likely the presence of a vagina, even if not used for sex would disrupt a fantasy and eroticization of a body with one.
Oliva’s concept that sex with himself would be very similar or even similar, rather than being radically different than the sex between two Gay biological men is simply delusional.
Reading further in the essay Oliva states that, “When it comes to trans people, one of the most daunting and harmful stereotypes is the belief that trans people are sexual predators, trying to coerce people into having sex with them by not disclosing what their genitals are, or "crossdressing" to enter single sex spaces.”
That there are transmen who are sexual predators deceiving Gay men isn’t a stereotype. These two websites for trans instruct how a trans man might mislead a Gay man as to their identity.
There is this publication:
https://atq1980.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/A-sex-guide-for-trans-men-into-men.pdf
Available online is a pamphlet titled, “PRIMED: A Sex Guide for Trans Men Into Men,” published by the Gay Men’s Sexual Health Alliance in Ontario, Canada. Associated with the publication is www.queertransmen.org.
This pamphlet on page 7 starts with the statement:
“As gay, bi or queer trans men, we often need to decide if we want to tell the men with whom we have sex that we’re trans. That is particularly true for those of us who are ‘read’ by others as cis-men.”
The possibility of not letting the Gay man know and deceive him by omission is left open as a valid choice.
Later in the manual it says that in a park, that depending on what type of sex you might be choosing you might not have to disclose that you are trans and suggests a sexual activity in which you might not have to reveal that you are trans.
Oliva might want to talk to www.queertransmen.org and the Gay Men’s Sexual Health Alliance about this.
On this other trans website the transman gloats about deceiving a Gay man at a bath house. This is a webpage of the QueerTransMen.org who’s about page says they are part of the Gay Men’s Sexual Health Alliance in Ontario.
https://www.queertransmen.org/news-and-blogs/~10-Cruising
This guide for cruising for sex for transman goes to get lengths about not having to disclose.
The author assures the reader that transmen can find sexual satisfaction at a Gay bath house and emphasizes, “you don’t necessarily have to ‘out yourself’ to join in on the fun.”
The author then gleefully tells how he fooled a Gay man at the bath house with some lies.
I remember one time I was in a bathhouse getting cruised by a guy who noticed my chest scars. He asked what they were from and without really thinking, I told him the first thing that came to mind, which was that I’d been in a car accident and had some ribs removed. The man then asked if there was a gap in my chest and I explained that there wasn’t, because the ribs were replaced by metal ones. The lesson I learned that day was that most people will believe what you tell them, as long as you say it with a straight face. Hell, he probably still tells this story… although maybe not with the same punchline. In fact, in most cruising situations, guys will accept what you tell them without question, providing their own explanations where things don’t seem to fit. Even those who do ask questions, probably won’t consider the possibility that you’re trans.
Again, transmen being sexual predators isn’t a stereotype, this is a real thing and they share instructions on how to do it. They utterly have no concept of informed consent.
I will put links to a review of both of these websites by myself at the end of the essay.
Going on to another paragraph we learn that Oliva doesn’t want questions about what lies below the waist when dating. Though people might not want sex on the first or second date there is the idea at some point that a relationship will progress such that there will be sexual relations in the future and that involves what is below the waist, though as an asexual person that might not be clear to Oliva.
Also, this statement shows that Oliva is fairly socially remote from Gay life when he states, “They might not even mention sex on a first date (though bold daters might not pay much heed to such rules).” Actually, for the great majority of Gays, having sex will often be the first date and regular dating might happen afterwards which will also involve regular sex.
It is fairly obvious that Oliva is concerned that upfront knowledge and disclosure of who he is as a sexual being to a potential partner, will likely shut down the possibility of having a date right at the start, so he throws up a lot of complaints as to justify deception from the start. The idea that honesty is critical to relationships and the concept of informed consent isn’t there.
In the concluding paragraph Oliva represents being informed about who he is physically as a potential sex partner is dehumanizing and it is made a false opposite to knowing him as a person. Also, it is fairly clear that as an asexual person he has no idea of the importance of sex in a relationship with those capable of sexual desire.
Oliva wants a romantic discussion and questions like whether you can play with his hair or kiss him, and discuss your past, but wants to avoid the question about his sex organs so you will realize that he is “worthy of being desired,” and that “I’m a sexual participant with needs, wants, and agency.”
The issues that Oliva is oblivious to are two things. Oliva can hope that he is desired, it just might not be that the potential dating partner will desire him if fully informed and delaying informing the potential partner going to change that? Second, is that his potential partner also has “needs, wants and agency” regarding sex, and that questions about Oliva below the waist are very relevant to understanding whether Oliva can satisfy the potential partner’s “needs” and “wants.” For trans sometimes it is all about themselves. This is also clearly a strategy to attempt to sexually exploit others.
Finally, it is fairly evident at as an asexual trans person Oliva hopes that a shared interest in things like sunsets, roses and violins and maybe long walks in the woods is sufficient to not having what his partner expects in a Gay sex life. That maybe a shared interest in sonatas by Scarlatti will mean overlooking that there is no penis below the waist. That somehow carob will be seen as chocolate, that particle board will be the same as oak paneling.
The only reason why these trans delusions haven’t gotten significant push back is that the Alphabet Soup media has largely, with one recent exception, avoided reporting on this. Most Gay men haven’t had to deal with it, it is mostly whining in the press and on social platforms. The Alphabet Soup media avoided reporting on the first trans attack on Lil Nas X when he tweeted, he liked dick.
However, as the demands for the appropriation of Gay men’s bodies becomes more widely known, and as more and more Gay men run into these trans strategies to appropriate their bodies and then get denounced when they refuse, there is going to be a growing discontent in the Gay community.
Persons like Oliva are empowered by the bullying silencing of critics. The fact that trans demands for sex are not seen as aggressions is atrocious.
MY WRITINGS ON TRANS MEN SEXUAL PREDATION