You have a series of assumptions. "All" Gay artists don't "only" do "sexualized" art. What I am doing is providing a channel for that art that is focused on Gay existence or Gay desire does reach its intended audience to bypass obstacles it otherwise would encounter.
Furthere, even if a Gay artist only focused on Gay desire, so what? It is something that is generally neglected, so that artist if filling a gap.
No one is going to force you to buy any of these art and put it on your wall. I am not seeing what the problem is.
You are correct. I misspoke. What I meant to say is "why are you only (promoting) sexualized gay art?" This art is pretty terrible regardless of subject matter. We as gay men are constantly being told that we are obsessed with sex. It just feels like you would rather promote badly rendered sex-themed art than promote gay artists who actually have talent and skill. I am a man who just happens to be gay. I don't have to fill my walls with sex paintings to feel complete. And FYI: I'm not trying to come across as hostile. I love what you are doing otherwise. I am simply sharing my personal opinion about this one subject. My intention is not to offend you.
Your view or response is not untypical. I did a reddit post on the Gay art on my walls. Some of the pieces are abstract, like Butterflies with log paper designs flying out of a chemical flask for a Gay engineer group. Some of the art was more diectly Gay.
I got a tremendous response, positive and negative. I saved all the responses and will do a write up at some time.
Art is done for many reasons, but art about Gay desire elevates Gay desire to the metaphysical. It is also recognizes that our desires are to be valued and our desires are positive. It is what art can do. Gays don't see themselves in regular art, so I think it is important to have art that reaffirms the validity of themselves. Given that Gays receive many negative messages, I think reinforcement has value.
Gays easily can access other types of art. They don't need my help.
However, these artists I am showcasing struggle to reach their audience, face barries of censorship. Gays looking to see themselves in art on the other hand struggle to find this art. So my effort is to facilitate this market.
My spouse had a former friend who visited his house. The house has rooms in a variety of different pastels. The former friend said the colors were too Gay.
This is my assessment of your comment. I am a direct person.
What I think is key is this statement, "I am a man who just happens to be gay." Many Gays feel this way. Their being Gay is like something carried around in a small black bag. I beliver this is driven by fear of being different and what might be the consequences.
If we are different will straights treat us differently, likely badly? Also, the loss of identity Gays fear, will be required to have garish colors in my hair and say "yass bitch." Etc. So some Gays police themselve to not be different. Also, I think it is fear of the loss of self. You conceptualize yourself as a certain person and don't want to be swept away by an identity.
I don't think we are inherently different, but I do think there are differences that develop out of our difference circumstance. Also, these differences might be different for different people.
When there is Gay art on the wall, being Gay is not private, it is not being carried around in a small black bag. It is being different. It is being visibly Gay. I think that this scares some Gays.
What I say is, "When are you going to be living your life." Just ask if the art would be something you would enjoy, not whether it is a necessity, or to complete yourself.
People who are saying Gay people are obsessed with sex, have a negative attitude towards sex, and they also don't have sexual opportunities. By what measure to they have to classify sexual interest, let alone claim someone is "obsessed" with sex. Even if someone was, so what. I know people obsessed with automobiles, collecting things like coins or other art.
Also, you have a penchant for false opposites. No one is asking you to "fill" your walls with any type of art. Or even purchase a single Gay painting. This comes across as you being alarmed.
Finally, these artists are talented and skilled.
This comment format doesn't really allow deep discussions, but I have been thinking about an essay, "Fear of being different" where I will discuss the issues. Some Gays think they need to have fingernail polish to be Gays, and others fear they will be forced to have fingerpolish. I think both are wrong, but I think we become different as a result of the life circumstances involved with being Gay.
I think I see where you're coming from. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Maybe we both assumed some things. For example, I have been an out gay man (boy) at a very early age. I knew well before puberty. I live my life in a matter-of-fact kind of way. If sexuality comes up, I have zero problem in telling literally anyone I'm gay. And yes, I think I do get "alarmed" at seeing so many gay men trying so desperately to look and act "queer." Actually, if I'm honest, it downright frightens me. This is my dating pool. It was tiny to begin with and with all the TQ+ insanity, it's gotten even smaller. I'm a good-looking, fit, intelligent, educated, and successful man, but I will probably be single for the rest of my life as I feel my choices are being diminished every day. I'm getting off topic here but I wanted to address what you said. I'm an artist myself, and although I'm perceived as masculine, I realize that simply being creative can be viewed as "too gay" for some, which doesn't bother me in the least.
I have reached a point in my life where I feel objectified by other gay men. I always have felt that way but much more so now. It's so easy to swipe left and dispose of someone who isn't perfect. I could have sex with literally 20 different men a day if I wanted to. But I'm so turned off to casual sex now because I know I'm just being used like a dildo. There is so much more to me than my genitals but that's all most gay men care about. You can't dare mention the word "date" or they will run and block you. So seeing someone promote only sexualized gay art triggers me into that realization that that's all most gay men want from me. And that makes me incredibly sad and lonely. TMI!
Thanks for this input. You bring up a different topic., which I am beginning to realize is perhaps what is the most important issue for most Gays. That is finding someone as a partner or at least not being alone.
My current spouse and I have been together 30 years as of last Thanksgiving. About 90% of my Gay life I have had someone. People ask me how did my spouse and I stay together for 30 years, and I don't really have an answer.
Being hot isn't a solution to end up with a relationship. You meet up with some guys who are hot also, and you do stuff for a few weeks, then you realize that there isn't a future. Sometimes they thought there was. (When I was dating it was pre-Apps and pre-internet.)
So I have some advice which may or may not be applicable since I don't know you. Just some things that might work.
1. We used to tell people who were getting desperate for a boyfriend to stop desperately searching. We would tell them the boyfriend would show up when he least expected it. That people can smell desperation. Relax and live your life.
2. Whatever you are doing now to meet someone, try something else. Or at least mix up the ways you are meeting Gays. I would do less apps and do more clubs and bars and maybe volunteer work in a Gay group or join some clubs. Try circulating differently. My first boyfirend I meet at U.C. Berkeley Univ. Gay liberation group. My second I had seen at a Black & White Men Together group. Meeting people in social settings is better. Maybe try dating different types of Guys than you do, or go to different clubs. Change your routine.
3. Look at who you are selecting? Maybe there is a factor you are overlooking. Maybe you are excluding possibilities. I am sort of guessing. I was always rejecting younger guys, so my spouse added five years to his age and we have been together 30 years.
4. Do NOT mix up Sex and Love. Sex doesn't lead to love and if you think it will, you are going to be disappointed. Sex is fun, and it doesn't exclude love, but it isn't the path to love. Enjoy the sex, but don't expect it to lead to love.
5. Discuss with people what interests them. Find out about their lives. When I was away from home for some years, I decided to try the apps. I had people dating me. I even had a side boyfriend. I use to talk to them as people and I didn't judge them.
6. There was this guy who was hot as can be. He was interested in me also. However, he was always saying "you know how Gays are," or "Gays this" or "Gays that" in a negative way. He make it clear he was alienated from Gay life. You could see he had a lot of negative feelings about being Gay. If you are sort of down on Gay people it comes to the surface. If you think of them as fellow travelers who are struggling with issues like you are and sympathetic that comes to the surface also.
7. Do not use the word "date." It will says to people "needy" or "desperate." Or it means sex negative.
Also, when you do get a boyfriend, create the relationship that works for you two, and not model it off straight relationships or what other people do. Also, be flexible and take the hard knocks in relationships.
Why do all gay artists have to paint only sexualized paintings? Why not feature GOOD artists who happen to be gay?
You have a series of assumptions. "All" Gay artists don't "only" do "sexualized" art. What I am doing is providing a channel for that art that is focused on Gay existence or Gay desire does reach its intended audience to bypass obstacles it otherwise would encounter.
Furthere, even if a Gay artist only focused on Gay desire, so what? It is something that is generally neglected, so that artist if filling a gap.
No one is going to force you to buy any of these art and put it on your wall. I am not seeing what the problem is.
You are correct. I misspoke. What I meant to say is "why are you only (promoting) sexualized gay art?" This art is pretty terrible regardless of subject matter. We as gay men are constantly being told that we are obsessed with sex. It just feels like you would rather promote badly rendered sex-themed art than promote gay artists who actually have talent and skill. I am a man who just happens to be gay. I don't have to fill my walls with sex paintings to feel complete. And FYI: I'm not trying to come across as hostile. I love what you are doing otherwise. I am simply sharing my personal opinion about this one subject. My intention is not to offend you.
Your view or response is not untypical. I did a reddit post on the Gay art on my walls. Some of the pieces are abstract, like Butterflies with log paper designs flying out of a chemical flask for a Gay engineer group. Some of the art was more diectly Gay.
I got a tremendous response, positive and negative. I saved all the responses and will do a write up at some time.
Art is done for many reasons, but art about Gay desire elevates Gay desire to the metaphysical. It is also recognizes that our desires are to be valued and our desires are positive. It is what art can do. Gays don't see themselves in regular art, so I think it is important to have art that reaffirms the validity of themselves. Given that Gays receive many negative messages, I think reinforcement has value.
Gays easily can access other types of art. They don't need my help.
However, these artists I am showcasing struggle to reach their audience, face barries of censorship. Gays looking to see themselves in art on the other hand struggle to find this art. So my effort is to facilitate this market.
My spouse had a former friend who visited his house. The house has rooms in a variety of different pastels. The former friend said the colors were too Gay.
This is my assessment of your comment. I am a direct person.
What I think is key is this statement, "I am a man who just happens to be gay." Many Gays feel this way. Their being Gay is like something carried around in a small black bag. I beliver this is driven by fear of being different and what might be the consequences.
If we are different will straights treat us differently, likely badly? Also, the loss of identity Gays fear, will be required to have garish colors in my hair and say "yass bitch." Etc. So some Gays police themselve to not be different. Also, I think it is fear of the loss of self. You conceptualize yourself as a certain person and don't want to be swept away by an identity.
I don't think we are inherently different, but I do think there are differences that develop out of our difference circumstance. Also, these differences might be different for different people.
When there is Gay art on the wall, being Gay is not private, it is not being carried around in a small black bag. It is being different. It is being visibly Gay. I think that this scares some Gays.
What I say is, "When are you going to be living your life." Just ask if the art would be something you would enjoy, not whether it is a necessity, or to complete yourself.
People who are saying Gay people are obsessed with sex, have a negative attitude towards sex, and they also don't have sexual opportunities. By what measure to they have to classify sexual interest, let alone claim someone is "obsessed" with sex. Even if someone was, so what. I know people obsessed with automobiles, collecting things like coins or other art.
Also, you have a penchant for false opposites. No one is asking you to "fill" your walls with any type of art. Or even purchase a single Gay painting. This comes across as you being alarmed.
Finally, these artists are talented and skilled.
This comment format doesn't really allow deep discussions, but I have been thinking about an essay, "Fear of being different" where I will discuss the issues. Some Gays think they need to have fingernail polish to be Gays, and others fear they will be forced to have fingerpolish. I think both are wrong, but I think we become different as a result of the life circumstances involved with being Gay.
I think I see where you're coming from. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Maybe we both assumed some things. For example, I have been an out gay man (boy) at a very early age. I knew well before puberty. I live my life in a matter-of-fact kind of way. If sexuality comes up, I have zero problem in telling literally anyone I'm gay. And yes, I think I do get "alarmed" at seeing so many gay men trying so desperately to look and act "queer." Actually, if I'm honest, it downright frightens me. This is my dating pool. It was tiny to begin with and with all the TQ+ insanity, it's gotten even smaller. I'm a good-looking, fit, intelligent, educated, and successful man, but I will probably be single for the rest of my life as I feel my choices are being diminished every day. I'm getting off topic here but I wanted to address what you said. I'm an artist myself, and although I'm perceived as masculine, I realize that simply being creative can be viewed as "too gay" for some, which doesn't bother me in the least.
I have reached a point in my life where I feel objectified by other gay men. I always have felt that way but much more so now. It's so easy to swipe left and dispose of someone who isn't perfect. I could have sex with literally 20 different men a day if I wanted to. But I'm so turned off to casual sex now because I know I'm just being used like a dildo. There is so much more to me than my genitals but that's all most gay men care about. You can't dare mention the word "date" or they will run and block you. So seeing someone promote only sexualized gay art triggers me into that realization that that's all most gay men want from me. And that makes me incredibly sad and lonely. TMI!
Thanks for this input. You bring up a different topic., which I am beginning to realize is perhaps what is the most important issue for most Gays. That is finding someone as a partner or at least not being alone.
My current spouse and I have been together 30 years as of last Thanksgiving. About 90% of my Gay life I have had someone. People ask me how did my spouse and I stay together for 30 years, and I don't really have an answer.
Being hot isn't a solution to end up with a relationship. You meet up with some guys who are hot also, and you do stuff for a few weeks, then you realize that there isn't a future. Sometimes they thought there was. (When I was dating it was pre-Apps and pre-internet.)
So I have some advice which may or may not be applicable since I don't know you. Just some things that might work.
1. We used to tell people who were getting desperate for a boyfriend to stop desperately searching. We would tell them the boyfriend would show up when he least expected it. That people can smell desperation. Relax and live your life.
2. Whatever you are doing now to meet someone, try something else. Or at least mix up the ways you are meeting Gays. I would do less apps and do more clubs and bars and maybe volunteer work in a Gay group or join some clubs. Try circulating differently. My first boyfirend I meet at U.C. Berkeley Univ. Gay liberation group. My second I had seen at a Black & White Men Together group. Meeting people in social settings is better. Maybe try dating different types of Guys than you do, or go to different clubs. Change your routine.
3. Look at who you are selecting? Maybe there is a factor you are overlooking. Maybe you are excluding possibilities. I am sort of guessing. I was always rejecting younger guys, so my spouse added five years to his age and we have been together 30 years.
4. Do NOT mix up Sex and Love. Sex doesn't lead to love and if you think it will, you are going to be disappointed. Sex is fun, and it doesn't exclude love, but it isn't the path to love. Enjoy the sex, but don't expect it to lead to love.
5. Discuss with people what interests them. Find out about their lives. When I was away from home for some years, I decided to try the apps. I had people dating me. I even had a side boyfriend. I use to talk to them as people and I didn't judge them.
6. There was this guy who was hot as can be. He was interested in me also. However, he was always saying "you know how Gays are," or "Gays this" or "Gays that" in a negative way. He make it clear he was alienated from Gay life. You could see he had a lot of negative feelings about being Gay. If you are sort of down on Gay people it comes to the surface. If you think of them as fellow travelers who are struggling with issues like you are and sympathetic that comes to the surface also.
7. Do not use the word "date." It will says to people "needy" or "desperate." Or it means sex negative.
Also, when you do get a boyfriend, create the relationship that works for you two, and not model it off straight relationships or what other people do. Also, be flexible and take the hard knocks in relationships.
Hope this helps.
Obsessed, this is deep quality :3 and variety too.