Interesting post, not read one like this for a whole. On the whole quite true, and factual though I feel less angst over familial lethality. I think sex Life for gays has dramatically changed, internet and apps have allowed enormous numbers of gays to go in the closet or never exit but still have sex without appearing in public, so to speak.
The final comment is the least debatable.
I’ve found it endlessly humorous how straight people conceive of life for gays even ones who don’t have an anti-gay bone in their body.
I think straights also come out, so to speak, at puberty and have to find out what sex means to them as an adult. Not in the fetish or sex act sense but in the “what is the adult sexual being me” sense. It’s something you form or find, and live into rather than being obvious.
Thanks for reading this post. When I do posts like this, I wonder if anyone will read it. I did it to clarify my thoughts and afterwards I decided to share it. I was hoping for inputs, but expecting none.
I hadn't thought about how Grindr and other online apps might facilitate Gays staying in the closet. I think that is an important thing to consider. I am going to have to think about it. I know from personal experience that bisexual guys use it to meet people. Also, in 2010 when they raided the Gay bathhouse in Dallas and arrested eleven men, several of them were married to women.
As for your comments about Gays considering their families. I think of course there is going to be a lot of variation. Given that over 300 million people live in America, there must be over a dozen families where a Gay person is the 3rd or 4th brother to come out as Gay in the family. I think I am going to modify it. I think that also, most Gays spend some time keeping this very important fact about themselves a total secret from their family. What I want to bring up is that there is a point of seperation, maybe not permanent. I will have to reflect onthis.
Interestingly, though it wasn't a topic you brought up, thinking about what you said, for some reason I remembered this morning the book, "The Lost Language of Cranes," by David Leavitt. It is how Gays are imprinted by straights rather than other Gays in growing up. I did extensive researching, there was no actual construction crane child, it was made up for the purpose of the story. But we start out assuming straight life will be our life with some minor modifications.
Sure I like reading new reworks of ideas. I believe one of the main drives of adolescent angst among lesbian and gay teens is your imprinting problem.
It doesn’t mean much to grow up to be a man like dad or a woman like mom, they don’t recognize themselves in those roles so they feel lost and have anxiety.
Easily reasoned is because they can’t see themselves in their parents perhaps they’re not really a man or really a woman, you can see the thought progression.
I do think 99% of parents want their kids to be happy, and don’t understand how they can be happy gay or lesbian because they see how we are still treated. That makes them insist on the wrong things.
Your last point - don’t understand gays - is why there is still a persistent “these people must recruit” because it can’t be an ordinary consequence.” It answers a lot of strange behaviors
Yes, to all the points you raise. I have edited the WORD document and this post given what you said in your first post. This is going to be a working document. I think that I am going to rewrite the part about parents not serving as sources of info about being Gay.
Interesting post, not read one like this for a whole. On the whole quite true, and factual though I feel less angst over familial lethality. I think sex Life for gays has dramatically changed, internet and apps have allowed enormous numbers of gays to go in the closet or never exit but still have sex without appearing in public, so to speak.
The final comment is the least debatable.
I’ve found it endlessly humorous how straight people conceive of life for gays even ones who don’t have an anti-gay bone in their body.
I think straights also come out, so to speak, at puberty and have to find out what sex means to them as an adult. Not in the fetish or sex act sense but in the “what is the adult sexual being me” sense. It’s something you form or find, and live into rather than being obvious.
Thanks for reading this post. When I do posts like this, I wonder if anyone will read it. I did it to clarify my thoughts and afterwards I decided to share it. I was hoping for inputs, but expecting none.
I hadn't thought about how Grindr and other online apps might facilitate Gays staying in the closet. I think that is an important thing to consider. I am going to have to think about it. I know from personal experience that bisexual guys use it to meet people. Also, in 2010 when they raided the Gay bathhouse in Dallas and arrested eleven men, several of them were married to women.
As for your comments about Gays considering their families. I think of course there is going to be a lot of variation. Given that over 300 million people live in America, there must be over a dozen families where a Gay person is the 3rd or 4th brother to come out as Gay in the family. I think I am going to modify it. I think that also, most Gays spend some time keeping this very important fact about themselves a total secret from their family. What I want to bring up is that there is a point of seperation, maybe not permanent. I will have to reflect onthis.
Interestingly, though it wasn't a topic you brought up, thinking about what you said, for some reason I remembered this morning the book, "The Lost Language of Cranes," by David Leavitt. It is how Gays are imprinted by straights rather than other Gays in growing up. I did extensive researching, there was no actual construction crane child, it was made up for the purpose of the story. But we start out assuming straight life will be our life with some minor modifications.
Thanks for the inputs.
Sure I like reading new reworks of ideas. I believe one of the main drives of adolescent angst among lesbian and gay teens is your imprinting problem.
It doesn’t mean much to grow up to be a man like dad or a woman like mom, they don’t recognize themselves in those roles so they feel lost and have anxiety.
Easily reasoned is because they can’t see themselves in their parents perhaps they’re not really a man or really a woman, you can see the thought progression.
I do think 99% of parents want their kids to be happy, and don’t understand how they can be happy gay or lesbian because they see how we are still treated. That makes them insist on the wrong things.
Your last point - don’t understand gays - is why there is still a persistent “these people must recruit” because it can’t be an ordinary consequence.” It answers a lot of strange behaviors
Yes, to all the points you raise. I have edited the WORD document and this post given what you said in your first post. This is going to be a working document. I think that I am going to rewrite the part about parents not serving as sources of info about being Gay.