Self-reliance, strategic planning and mutual support are Gay issues.

You don't have as much of a social support network as straight people do. Don't rely on the support of people who might be biased or outright prejudiced. You need to be able to survive on your own.

Mar 30, 2025

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Self-reliance, strategic planning and mutual support as a Gay issue.

Of course everyone needs to be self-reliant, strategically plan, but Gays especially need to be self-reliant and strategically plan and consider risks. They can’t depend of there being support if things go wrong as much as straight people. The chance of their being no support or less support is much higher for Gays than straight people. Gays face is more risks and adverse situations than that straight people face.

So Gays face more risks and adverse situations and less social support.

Consider these issues.

[1] A Gay person’s support from their family and relatives is likely less because they are Gay. Many Gays are cut off from their families or cut off from some of their family and relatives or the relationship with their family is a problem. Besides there not being any support, maybe gettting their help involves listening to their thoughts about Jesus and that God is trying to tell you something with your current situation. Maybe they will take you in, but not your partner, if you lose your house due to unemployment.

Even if they aren’t overtly homophobic, they might be less willing to help out, since they have a bias of which they don’t acknowledge.

[2] Many charities are run by homophobic religious groups.

[3] Many charities have a family first policy and you don’t have children. Yes, some Gays do have children, but the overwhelming majority, of Gays, don’t. It could be freezing at night, and there might not be room for you.

[4] Most Gays won’t have children to support them in their old age. Yes, it is true that many straight people don’t have children or if they do, the children don’t support them, but in many cases straight people do have children and they support them. In a relative comparison, Gays are far less likely to have children to support them since the great majority of Gays don’t have children.

[5] When you are dependent on others to support you, you are vulnerable to discrimination. In getting aid or support you are hoping that none of the people providing that support, explaining procedures, assisting with paperwork are prejudiced and difficult or refusing to be helpful.

[6] In layoffs, there can be bias, and people have had managers feel that it is preferable to lay you off because your co-worker has children and you don’t.

[7] In hiring and raises you can face discrimination.There may or may not be laws against discrimination, but often times the discrimination is subtle and it can even be by persons who consider themselves allies.

[8] Gays can be the targets of harrassment and violence. The police and authorities might not be so quick to act.

[9] Government and organizations are less likely or can be slow to support Gays in a crisis or recognize and meet basis social needs. It took protests to get support for Gays facing AIDS. Marriage has only arrived recently and may come to an end.

[10] Relatives can be predatory and discriminatory when one partner dies.

There are likely more things to consider, but this essay will just list the ten major items above.

What needs to be done?

The first thing is to recognize this is an issue and that there needs to be actions to reduce or eliminate the impact of these adverse issues.

The current idea by the LGBTQ leadership is that eliminating discrimination and prejudice is all that is necessary and then Gays are on supposed level playing field with straights and there is nothing further to consider. The assimilationist idea is that Gays have no special considerations to succeed in life different than straight people.

Of course reducing prejudice and ending discriminatory policies would be good and it is a worthy goal, but by itself isn’t adequate to ensure the welfare and security of the Gay community.

First, it needs to be recognized that it is likely that prejudice and discrimination are likely to be around for some time. Gays live in the here and now, not in some distant future.

Second, even in a hoped for future, where discrimination is greatly reduced, there is still likely to be some.

Third, some of the issues in the list given, are not going to be eliminated by the elimination of discrimination. Gays will be much less likely to have children to depend on. Charities will likely have family first policies. Governments will be slower to recognize Gay needs and support them by the simple fact Gays are a small minority.

The reality is that Gays need to be especially strategic, self-reliant, and prepared to be successful and survive.

Gays need to be in a situation where they can help other Gays.

I once paid to get a person’s personal belongs back when the landlord confiscated them for non-payment of rent and then offered the person a room in my house. In another case, I gave a person a room in my house when they were unable to make rent.

In the last year alone, I gave about $2,000 to LGBT activists or targets of prejudice to support them. You can help others when you have your life in order and are successful or at least haven’t fallen into adverse circumstances.

The first step would be for Gays to realize that they need a plan.

The second step would be to develop and define recommendations, actions and plans for Gays to avoid the negative issues.

Counter measures

I have survived a lot of adverse situations and I have ended up doing very well. I did it by being prepared and proactive to overcome problems. I was proactive because I would think about what might happen and I would make an effort to learn about what might happen.

I understood that I had NO SAFETY NET.

Some the things I knew, I learned from my parents listening to them navigating corporate life and the risks and threats that middle class households faced. However, I did a lot of reading and listened to news reports. I also paid attenttion to what had happened that resulted in people finding themselves in bad situations.

So I am going to be writing up some guides and sharing them. I will also have links to these guides in a directory.